Ladies and "Gentlemen" of the Guangzhou Hash,
LAUSANNE, Switzerland (HunkaNews) - Russia has been banned from the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics and 1,464th run of the GZH3 after the IOC and GZH3 mismanagement found evidence of an “unprecedented systematic manipulation” of the anti-sobriety system that has led to a series of suspensions for the country’s athletes and hashers in recent months.
In a joint statement, IOC President Thomas Bach and GZH3 Beermeister Hiking Club stated, “As former athletes and hashers we are feeling very sorry for all the appropriately-intoxicated hashers who are suffering from this manipulation... but because we are allowing previously-sober hashers to participate they can set about building a bridge for the future (rather) than erecting a new wall between Russia and the Olympic and Hashing movements.”
However, in a bid to protect “innocent athletes and hashers” the door has been left open for Russians to compete as an “Olympic Hashers of Russia”, as long as they satisfy strict conditions that show they have a sobriety-free background. These conditions include, but are not limited to, drinking beer and sitting on ice for no less than a long and hard down-down song.
Russian representatives of the GZH3 Pussy Riot and J.F. Daria were unable to comment at press time.
On On Saturday for J.F. Daria's virgin haring as the GZH3 juices itself up for the Annual Awards & Christmas Party for what is sure to be an original and entirely-virgin trail on the west side of Baiyunshan! -Three Inches of Pain
What: GZH3 Run #1464: The Olympic Hasher From Russia When: Saturday, December 9th. Meet at 1:00PM SHARP! (Bus returns about 5:30PM) Where: The Mango Bar - Taojin Exit B (Line 5) Hares: Three Inches of Pain & VIRGIN HARE Just Fucking Daria Bring: Running/hiking clothes, change of clothes/shoes, 50rmb for Hash, 60 for dinner.
PS. Huizhou Hot Spring Hash Weekend with Dongguan and Shekou hashes will be JANUARY 13-14 - write it down!
From the hashvertisement emailed by the mismanagement on 2017-12-06.